Genuinely Teachable Mindset

Everybody loves a teachable person but no one wants to be that person. Everyone wants everyone else to be teachable. Of course, everyone also claims to be teachable and they may listen to you a while and nod their heads to prove that they are teachable. But that's not what teachable means. One thing for sure, being teachable doesn't mean you hold the answer to everything under the sun.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash.

What is Teachable

A simple definition of teachable is "willing to be taught and to learn," according to Merriam-Webster and the Cambridge English Dictionary. It's that word "willing" that makes you teachable. You're not just listening, you are ready and expect to learn, admitting that you don't know something yet. You humbly empty a part of your mind to give space to something you'd take in from someone else (though sometimes you get frustrated because the other person turns out to have nothing new to teach you). But at least you were ready to meekly and openly receive. That's teachable. 

"True teachability happens when humility meets an active interest in others. It is relational. It relies on you and me noticing and engaging someone else and their skills, expertise or passions," says Ashleigh Slater in her article on Boundless. A genuinely teachable mindset is first of all humble, then open, interested and relational. You must be humble enough to lower your self estimation and raise your expectation of the other person's intellect. You must be open to receive new learnings and are really interested in what he or she has to say. You relate to the person as your "teacher" for that moment.

Limits of Teachability

A teachable mindset should have limits, though. It doesn't mean the "teacher" has the right to tell you everything you should do. Some people will have that impression when you show teachability. They assume you will depend on them intellectually on everything. A healthy teachable mindset should set boundaries and no one should be allowed to cross it. Unscrupulous people will accuse of not being teachable once you set boundaries but don't give in to their pressure.

You also have to choose who to learn from. You can't learn from everyone and you cannot allow everyone to teach you (people love to teach and lecture to feel better than everybody). Opt for people who really have the authority to teach you, and I'm not just talking about credentials or titles and degrees. I'm talking about knowledge and wisdom. 

I always look for humility and lowliness in people I choose to learn from, aside from their knowledge and wisdom. Humility and a lowly character is so important to me. Without these two, I don't care how smart or wise a person is. I may listen to them for a while but I will refuse to learn from them. I watch from whom I accept teaching because I believe in mindset transference in learning.

How to be More  Teachable

A teachable mindset is hungry for learning, and learning is not just attaining knowledge but the application of the same and welcoming the concomitant changes. You are eager to learn and change, in short. To be more teachable, you need to want to be better progressively, and get it from people who are more knowledgeable than you are. Here are the traits you should harness to be more teachable and get more out of your relationships:

1. Always be open to new things. There's no such thing as exhausting knowledge to the full. There's always rom for more learning regardless of your age and experience.
2. Listen well. This is how you discern and see who really has knowledge and wisdom and who has mere information.
3. Meet people. Go out and meet people but do not tell them about your quest for knowledge and wisdom. Some people are too eager to lecture you once they learn about your quest. Just listen.
4. Read books. Oh yes, read lots of books, articles and other literature.
5. Lower down your intellectual guard, but not too low--just low enough to let in information you should carefully filter out. Keeping a high guard will not give you a teachable mindset. Adapt the mindset guard of 1 Thessalonians 5.21-22:

Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.

Head-Knowledge Leadership

Leadership born out of head knowledge, not from an experience of submissively following someone a long time, is seminar drawn. Leadership seminars are good but getting a certificate does not make you a leader--even with thousands of certificates--or diplomas. It doesn't happen when you're voted to leadership because everybody likes you, or because you have all the credentials. But that's mostly what leadership is today.

Photo by Jehyun Sung on Unsplash.

Qualification based on certificates.

The pervading leadership mindset is founded on that--credentials. If you can present a diploma or certificate, then you can be the leader, especially over those who cannot present the same. But true leadership must be founded on true followership. Followership is not when you have sat down in a class or seminar of a leader and got lots of tips from him, or having spent a year listening to a professor and passed his exams. 

Wikipedia comes close to explaining what followership is:

Followership are the actions of someone in a subordinate role. It may also be considered as particular services that can help the leader, a role within a hierarchical organization, a social construct that is integral to the leadership process, or the behaviors engaged in while interacting with leaders in an effort to meet organizational objectives.[1] As such, followership is best defined as an intentional practice on the part of the subordinate to enhance the synergetic interchange between the follower and the leader.

Rather than sitting down and listening, followership is action, "the actions of someone in a subordinate role." Subordinate here is more than the professor-student thing, the student being subordinate to the professor. It's "services" given to help the leader. In short, it's working with the leader hands-on. It's more than attending some class or an internship or apprenticeship. The aim is to support the leader achieve his goal by working with him, because the leader's goal has become yours as well. It's not just to get experience so you can also be a leader and start your own group.

A good leadership mindset is Jesus' mindset on followership. It's not through a school or seminar or popularity vote. It's through living the life of your leader and "iron sharpens iron," happens between you. So it's not just a few years affair or you get hired and get trained for 6 months by a supervisor. It's a long process of life and mindset transfer. The transfer happens in the course of closely joining the leader in his endeavor.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. [Matthew 16.24]

 Three things: deny, carry cross, and follow.

1. Deny Themselves

Denying the self to assume the leader's person. This never happens in seminars, schools, teams, apprenticeship, between boss and employee, professor and student or even between pastor and assistant pastor (or church member), because there's no life and mindset transfer. Transfer only happens after 100 percent self denial happens and an ardent willingness to carry the cross the leader puts on your shoulder--which is the person of the leader. His life and mindset. You cannot just learn to use the learnings for your own designs or goals. You learn to be like your leader and finish his goals. So the "self" is first eliminated, thus "denying the self and picking up the cross daily."

It's a completely different matter, for instance, to use Jesus' teachings, not to continue his work, but to set up your own work and denomination. That's just head-knowledge leadership.

2. Take Up Their Cross

Our natural desire is to fulfill our own dreams and ambitions and live happily ever after. That is, if you're not a follower. But if you're not a follower you cannot be a leader. Problem is, most people aching for leadership roles are not true followers. They've never been so. They just attend seminars, earn certificates, become popular and get voted to leadership. They never really took up the cross of followership, which is denying the self and assuming the person of the leader. Denying the self (emptying or starving the ego to death) is a cross, and it's what Jesus referred to when he gave the challenge to his audience. He never meant that they learn from him as his disciples so they could put up their own group or church denominations later. He discipled them so they can continue his work, the same thing he did. 

Whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. [John 14.12]

3. Follow Him

Again, true leadership derives from genuine following which is a hands-on activity where one actually does things together with the leader to accomplish HIS GOALS, not yours. An example is how Jesus always coupled evangelism with supernatural miracles. Apostle Paul said this is necessary "so that your faith may rest on God's power, not human wisdom [1 Corinthians 2.5]. But if you do just one aspect of his ministry and ignore the other, you're not following him. You just copied some things from him and started your own. You simply "attended" a seminar that tackled one aspect of his ministry. You're a mere copy-cat. And because you're not a true follower, you cannot be a leader.

True Leaders Followed True Leaders

Only iron can effectively sharpen iron. And there must be hard, repeated rubbing contact to effect sharpening, with both irons exerting the needed effort. It's not just sitting in a class and learning lessons from a teacher; it's a transfer of life, goal, character and mindset. True leaders are followers of true leaders who followed true leaders, and so on. True leaders are led, and they follow in the footsteps of the one leading them. No matter what efforts transpired in the process, there's only one life, goal, character and mindset being transferred. If this happens, true followership and leadership is taking place. One powerful Forbes article on leadership and followership says:

Yet few people understand that to be a good leader, you first need to be a great follower. As Aristotle said, "He who cannot be a good follower, cannot be a good leader."

You may develop your own brand of leadership in the process of followership, but the same spirit and mindset prevails. The same goal and results are targeted. If Jesus did evangelism and miracles, we cannot do less if we are real followers. If we get rid of miracles, we produce faith that is founded on human wisdom and that is off course. We deviate from the goals and results of Jesus. We have started our own.

When we use great leaders as mere ladders to climb up and reach our own success, that's where selfish ambitions come in. But if we work with the leader to support his success, his success becomes ours, too. There are people who get training and experience from their bosses and later use that for their own promotion or to start their own businesses. That's good, but that's not followership, and that's not leadership either. It's similar to a professor-student relationship. You're just there for the grade.

How to Prevent Getting Head-Knowledge Leadership:

1. Be a true follower. Do not just learn and get leadership tips. Absorb the life, character and mind of the leader you're following. Thus, it follows that you should pick your leader well. Choose someone you would like to be someday. 
2. Connect with the leader. A good leader is a good follower who keeps connected to the leader. Their point of connection is the one life, goal, character, and mindset. There is life and mindset transfer, not just information transfer.

A lot of people think they are leaders just because they attended seminars or got voted on due to their popularity. And a lot of "leaders" think they have "followers" just because these "followers" learn from them and train under them. In reality, neither leaders nor followers are produced but only solo individuals out to make a name for themselves. 

Mind Health and Getting Connected

It's become a nightmare in this age, being excluded or ostracized. The fear seems worse today than at any other time, and you just have to watch how people panic when they lose their Facebook accounts. The need to belong, mingle and connect has become a dire necessity in a faster-pace life (and higher cost of living) that keep us busy and away from each other more. Even if we work from home. How we look at connecting with people reflects the condition of our mind health.

Photo by Ryan Tauss on Unsplash.

Thank God for social media and smartphone technology (when these are used right) because we now can connect faster and better. But all good things can be used badly by the unscrupulous (like scammers and hackers). It always happens. They're everywhere. Even some legit social sites are not exempt. They set up requirements and policies which can bar you from connecting if you fail to comply and adapt. They use your fear of exclusion or losing membership for control or abuse.

What Toxic Mindsets Are

Well, sometimes it's needed. Social sites want to control members by rewards and punishments, because sometimes this is the only way people understand the importance of mutual respect. 

A lot of people have toxic mindsets that put them in conflict with any idea or opinion, and they do this intentionally to gain prominence in the club. They join the "club" and show off their rude "smartness" by trash-talking others. It happens offline and online. In social media, these are the malignant Netizens or "keyboard warriors" who love to bash everybody with their impolite comments and think it smart and cute, fearless and aching for a fight as long as they're online, safely hid in their fake accounts. I just cannot understand why many of them are not sanctioned accordingly. They're still there. 

Keyboard Warrior Mindset

I give some special mention to keyboard warriors here, "individuals who feel empowered to express their opinions and engage in online arguments, often in a combative and aggressive manner," but are really cowards when facing their own personality defects, says an article on them. They love maliciously tackling others' issues or bullying their victims, and this is their way of "connecting" online with other people, showing off their imagined self, but never facing their real personal problems. 

They may have a deep interest in certain issues and enjoy debating them with others, but they may not be as interested in developing themselves personally. This may be because they find it easier to talk about external issues than to confront their own personal shortcomings. Source: ArtStation

Keyboard warring betrays one's mind health condition and the affected person tries to remedy this by connecting with people the wrong way. A toxic mindset can never connect with others properly though it finds itself right there in the middle of social connections. And the same is true offline. Many people think they can connect with others through the keyboard warrior mindset which always needs a target to hit. 

Thus, FB groups and pages require strict compliance with their policies before they accept people into their membership. But the practice of membership screening sometimes go overboard, too. Facebook, for instance, can be so unreasonably prohibitive with its policies, especially on ads. Yeah, there are scamming advertisers but often FB suspends or bans even the most innocent of ads and allows full rein to bad ones. 

Afraid of Toxic Membership Screeners

Anyway, it's not just on FB or social sites. It's everywhere, especially offline. Toxic membership screeners are present in schools, offices, neighborhoods, businesses, public transports, malls, stores and shops, sometimes even in church or family. They set the standards and rules, strictly enforcing them, and believe me, you better comply to the letter. Better fall in.

And most people fear them. 

There are legit screeners. Submit to them even if some of them are toxic (their toxicity won't kill you, anyway). But the rest are scammers--scammers because they put up fake club memberships. And they're often stricter and fiercer, showing no mercy. Don't fear them because they have no power, whatsoever, over you. Okay, so they can suspend or ban you from membership. So what?

You won't die of being a non-member. In fact, it may even mean life--real life--once you're out of their mind, free from asphyxiating atmospheres, breathing fresh, natural air always (not from oxygen tanks tough hospital screeners would dearly charge you for). Many folks today fear ostracism. They crave feeling welcomed and accepted, which has blown out of proportion, turning into a social illness that scares both the lonely and happy. 

Benefits of Getting Expelled

Don't get expelled from school or work due to something negative. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about being expelled from circles of people because you don't meet their nonsense demands or expectations or you don't comply by their silly rules. When it happens, cheer up. You've just been freed. Not many people enjoy that freedom. You've just been blessed. 🙌

I've been expelled a lot of times just because I remained my true self, the individual God designed me for. Some people hate it when you dare defy their membership rules and club culture. They thought expelling me was punishment. But it was really like dessert after a bland meal. Like halo-halo with rich fillings of leche flan, real ube and sweetened bananas (no sugar please). Well, it may affect you for a while. It did me, for about 5 to 10 seconds. But I realized the health benefits after.

1. It's definitely a sweeter experience.
2. You enjoy being a life freelancer.
3. Less busy, less stress. Better health.
4. You see life better without horse blinders (the eye cover they put on horses 😄).
5. You make more friends, being freed from social limits. Better connections.
6. Powerful mind health benefits.

Outside the Picture Frame

The best part is being out of the picture frame. As long as you're inside that frame, you won't see the whole picture. No way. Your perspective is limited to the boundaries of the frame, or less. You have to get out of the frame and be an onlooker to see everything, see the whole picture. But take heed--once you're out there's no going back. Because you've just been erased.

How Others' Toxicity Can Kill You

People's toxicity cannot kill you unless you opt to let it. It's your choice. Some people worry so much about what people say and even lose sleep over it. I can't imagine why. Sometimes, you do need to consider what people say, change what needs to be changed if their comments are legit, but not submit to their rule. If you do, you allow their toxicity to kill you. It's your fault. If you think that's a good way to connect, you're just a few feet away from insanity. Bad mind health. 

How membership exclusion kills you? 

1. If you worry about it, like it's the end of the world. 
2. If it leads to overstressing (it wrecks your mind and health).
3. If it affects how you see yourself (low self esteem).
4. If you let it affect your future (hopeless). 
5. If it affects your personality (possessed), the individual God made you to be.

Yup, scaring you with membership exclusion (to control you) is like witchcraft. And you're going to be "possessed" with that scary thought so much so that you lose your peace. And that's the sign that something is killing you mentally or emotionally--if you're losing peace of mind.

Don't get me wrong. I love "club memberships," having circles of friends, getting connected, reaching out, and getting along well with others. It's part of a healthy social life. I super hate being the same with them in their mindset but I "join" people now and then, not to be an active club member, but to enjoy watching them suffer their club membership. It's like a parade band. You go to where they are, watch and enjoy, but you're not part of the band. Well, sometimes I'm asked to join in for a while and play an instrument, but I never become a regular member.

First in Mindset Management

Mindset health is not just a momentary good condition of the mind but a progression of healthy thinking and mind attitude which cope with distressing conditions that increase in intensity. Distress just keeps increasing today. Problems do not remain the same. Your problems yesterday grew while you were sleeping (a lot of developments and circumstances add up to it) and when you woke up you thought you had a new problem. Often, it's either the same problem worsened and metastasized or worsened and ramified. 

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash.

If your thinking patterns were healthy yesterday (or a minute ago), that could change very drastically if you do not know how to maintain mindset health against minute bombardments of distress and pressures around you. Patience (a powerful sign of healthy mind management) can suddenly drown in a sea of peer pressures and turn your calm disposition into a gasping, sourly competitive and demanding tyranny.

Thus, the state of your mindset has to be updated and renewed each moment in order to cope. And it should be shared with others to multiply and regenerate. The more a healthy mind is shared the more it transforms and more "immunized" to face new or metastasized challenges. It "enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute to their community.” says MedicalNewsToday.

It's not just being mentally healthy now. It's more of mind health management, as the World Health Organization (WHO) explains that it is "more than the absence of mental disorders" but managing that health to maintain and further it. Medical News Today adds that, "Peak mental health is about managing active conditions and maintaining wellness and happiness."

Mindset Health Management

You don't just read books and tackle new things in your head, or learn new tricks. You have to apply the learnings to real life and connect them with a good attitude and character. This management is more about how our learnings grow our intellectual maturity so that we relate correctly with other people, rather than learning per se and stacking our minds with tons of head knowledge. A lot of intelligent people are immature when it comes to social relations. Their intellectual capacity do not connect with their emotional and social well being. The result is poor mindset health, poor social life and emotional immaturity. 

Poor mind health management, in short.

Sociable But Socially Unhealthy

You may have encountered people who are sociable, life of the party, charming, attractive and pleasingly out-going. And yet, on closer scrutiny, you'd discover how they're really socially unhealthy and unable to cope emotionally. They're perfect in public but a disaster in private, terribly flawed and lost. It's more than narcissism--something similar but a little bit lighter. I'd say semi, quasi or half-narcissism, if there's such. 

Well, we all have light narcissistic tendencies due to our fallen state (man is fallen, says the bible, and even a surrendered life in Christ can still manifest some shades of it, because now we still see through a glass darkly). Good thing is, they're not prone to physical harming (yet) but their immaturity can be bothersome. This is why Jesus followers need to bask more in his presence each day to continuously transform "in ever-increasing glory." Though slight or semi or quasi, narcissism in any degree and form is a no-no.

Anyway, non-narcissists (Jesus followers or not) can still have slight narcissistic tendencies which can be dealt with using mental health management.

The first step here is to identify who they are:

1. They're talkative.
2. They love to give unsolicited advices.
3. They're better than you.
4. They're the leader (that's "servanthood" to them)
5. You're their follower.
6. They can't pause to give way to other folks speaking.
7. They often interrupt conversations to have their say.
8. They claim to be good listeners. 
9. They can't stand not being honored or not being the topic of admiration.
10. They love talking about themselves and their achievements.
11. They cannot stand not being surrounded by admirers.
12. They crave for audiences.

There are many more signs but the above are the basics. The first challenge after identifying them is how to make them see their condition--because you can't, and you're not supposed to. Most of them do not see themselves a victim but a savior. Everybody else is self-centered except them. So, how do you know you're not one of them?

1. You are not in any life or career competition. You are not aching to be the greatest.
2. You don't need to prove yourself.
3. It's not important for you to prove you're right.
4. You love to be simple, quiet, relaxed and low profile.
5. You do not crave the limelight.
6. You consider others better fitted for a great job.
7. You prefer servile positions.
8. You're a genuine good listener.
9. You genuinely seek GOD's glory alone.
10. You consider yourself and your achievements insignificant  to gain Christ. 
11. You know all your achievements are God's. You did nothing although God used you.
12. You're more comfortable not being recognized.

You can summarize all that in one word--meek. Meekness is defined in various ways but I put it simply thus: zero self-importance. An attitude of meekness is the foundation of mindset health management. You manage nothing if you don't have meekness, no matter if you have all the information and knowledge about mental, emotional and social health.